Friday 21 August 2009

Universal Truths

#1: No one likes to be poked into consciousness.

My middle bunk was at the eye-level of the conductor as the train arrived in GuangZhou, the poker’s peripherals must have seen my serene sedentary slumber as defiance, judging by the look on her face as I raised my sleeping blind-fold.

#2: You don’t want to be on the wrong side of a government official with a dictatorship to back her up.

A bus into the underbelly of the Cantonese capital and a short taxi-ride to the quay-side took me to my hostel. Lunch was a wonderful experience, not understanding what the Chef was telling me, but him understanding my feeble grasps at Mandarin and soon placing the houses favourite meal in front of me, which was enough to shake the 6am McDonalds McBreakfast McMenu into the Mcstake category.

Posturing for an afternoon of sweat wasn’t difficult given the abundance of Ice-creams and refreshing goodies that the locals thrust at me. GZ’s metro system was a subterranean relief - efficiency and A/C, a dream I had once.

After traversing the city, viewing parks and fighting their resident mosquitoes I found refreshment in the form of Milk, at a Milk Bar.

#3: Milk is best served cold at a Milk Bar.

Rest came easy in GZ, respite from the heat in the relative cool of the night lulls – a stomach full of milk helps somewhat.

The next day I decided to view some orchids after a late breakfast. I would always recommend going to a Chinese Orchid Garden. The next move was to the South China Botanical Gardens, a little out of town, but I do love gardens. You could imagine my delight however when I saw a confused Yank in the subway. Incongruent to his environment, like only an American can be - I imagined a tank in an orchid Garden.

He stuck out like a teenage boy at dawn.

His name was like Magnolia on an office wall. It could have been Andy, but he insisted it was Andrew.

Soon enough we were killing time together, laughing as I slowly withered his façade of propriety and ‘Brit-Slamming’, he didn’t see the subtleties of the tongue that only British people can articulate, undermining their long-standing foes.

#4: Do not walk through woodland at dusk if you do not wish to be feasted upon by Mosquitoes.

Afterwards we met a friend of his and enjoyed an overpriced dinner until we came to pay the bill. We departed and would surely not meet again.

***

There is a very convenient high-speed train between GZ and HongKong. I sat next to a woman with too much money and not enough brains eating KFC and checking her stocks online whilst we bolted through the iconic Cantonese countryside.

Despite a continuously reinforced claim that HK is Chinese, on all flights, trains and busses HK is regarded as an international destination. This is clear when you are trying to cross a simple land border to the ‘New Territories’ in HK. H1N1 Checks, health declarations and an air of cautious oversight as Chinese brothers cross the border to consume only as Capitalists can. British Citizens receive a 180-dayVisa upon arrival in HK, which I see as a form of royalty.

Here is noticeably different from the mainland. Unique language, culture, landscape and people – most prominently my CouchSurfing [www.couchsurfing.com] hostess are what makes this place worthy of a border check.

#5: Most borders can be crossed with a smile and a British Passport.

I caught the relatively expensive subway, which felt much like the London Underground – but cleaner, particularly concerning urine and hobos – with words like ‘alight’ and ‘gap’ and ‘pleasant’, eased into my ears in a familiar accent. I waited for my first meeting with Sze Ki (pronounced C.K.), the young lady who had agreed to have a stranger living in her house for the weekend and show them around her city. When she found me crumpled in a corner sat on my backpack (she was late) – I couldn’t have been happier. A welcoming (and kinda crazy) smile hit me as her clear (but kooky) voice cut the congested air.

Before I could say “Sweet’n’Sour” I was escorted through the fragrant streets of HK to Sze Ki’s family’s apartment. With one of the highest population densities in the world, I expected a cramped living space; I expected ‘Innovative storage solutions’. I’m sure all that was there but in the instant we opened the door my expectations were crowded out by the welcoming smiles of her family and a most delicious smell.

#6: Home-Cooked food trumps all other foods.

Canton to the max was laid out for me, Delicious home-cooked food.

We chatted and by the time Sze we retired, it was coming to sunrise.
We had a fantastic few days together. Sze Ki had the day off work the next day and after applying for yet another Chinese visa we had a fantastic day, enjoying the city and everything that it has to offer. That evening, Sze Ki having waited for the opportunity or a reason for a long time wanted to show me to a reservoir and go for a walk.

#7: The first time that you see Fireflies is an unforgettable experience, best shared with a friend.

Leading Sze Ki through ‘Works Access Only Area’s’ was an excitable affair and we moved to the other side of the reservoir to see what stars we could amongst the air pollution and novel haze of youth and young manhood. We again trespassed onto areas of the damn, taking our time to offend the country both our ancestors built. In doing so, we surely missed the last bus home – something an hour-long wait at a bus stop confirmed.

This being the case we walked the 5-or-so-Kilometers back to our home turf, stopping to enjoy an early morning gorge at a famous but reasonably-priced restaurant. Eyes nearly closed we took the lift up to our apartment and on to could 9.

The next day was an adventure to an offshore Island by daytime, party time by nightfall.

We took a ferry from the central ferry terminal near ‘Central’ HK. A ferry is much the same affair as in Venice; it’s treated as a standard and necessary mode of transportation for suburban areas that happen to be on other islands. Tempestuous weather reminded me of novels that I have read about HK, about fragrant harbours; about stormy cultures and stormed hillsides; savoured foods; and of course the films we have all seen about Bruce Lee. This was a fascinating trip around what I imagined HK to be without road-bridges and sub aquatic subways. Little boats with workers, card-games a rotund foreman and his greasy blackened crew (blackened by both soot and sun). Larger boats with cargos. Purpose and productivity all afloat between rugged islands and urban up-risings.

We arrived at a port settled behind a typhoon barrier. The harbour was full of motion, fishing boats with the lunchtime catch – not to be far overpriced for an evening meal; a few tourists; tenders flying between larger ships laden with gambling opportunities and gossip. When we were moored, not unsurprisingly in hindsight, the first thing we saw was those omnipresent golden arches.

Ignoring the scores of restaurants we persevered around the coast to find bouldering opportunities on a beautiful secluded beach. We were alone besides the amateur fisherman - although I’m not sure how qualified the title is when he had just a line, a hook and a sceptical frown.

We realised we were navigating away from our destination after consulting a 3-year-outdated Lonely Planet. All Sze Ki had told me is that it was some sort of smuggler’s cove…

We had a delicious desert for our lunch; coconut milk, tapioca, ice-cream and fruits I can’t name let alone list (or should I say tag?).

By mid-afternoon we were assaulting our last beach, pressing on to the cove.

We found the cove staffed by a vagrant. A hairy man selling torches. I bought a torch in a Tesco in Guangzhou… ‘Every Little Helps’ so ignoring him we found the outcropping of the smugglers den. A local couple had just emerged exhilarated and helped us down into the cove. And so the phrase goes, a torch with five LED’s can’t light up jack – we bumped our heads on rocks and our bodies on heads and rocks on bodies and heads. We had no idea where we were going in little more than a crawlspace but when the tunnel had passed us we kinda wanted to go again.

We hurried back to the city for the night. Spending awhile to fine some live Jazz, we were defeated by The Funk which crushed The Jazz in the summer of ‘73.

We enjoyed the classic view of central with a few Tinnies and Maltesers, discussing social decay we decided British Cultural Hegemony was alive and drinking tea.

I’m pretty sure that we watched Monsters Inc. that night when we returned home, it was my first time and CK’s *tieth.

***

The next day was spent in a wonderful haze around the Capitalist Stronghold: Central. We saw the oldest buildings in HK, very many Michael Jackson videos played on the street drawing crowds of dozens. I may have been involved in a tacit dance-off with a middle-aged male… but no one told me that.

We took a tram to Victoria Peak after nightfall and torrential rain. This tram however ascended at an average angle of 45Deg. What surprised me is that it coped with the mass of obese American tourists… but it was built in Britain.

A romantic cadence hung over the city from the crests of the clouds at The Peak to the whipping waterways below. I was due to depart the next day.

#8: HongKong Rules!

***

Thursday 23 July 2009

The Great Firewall of China

This is a series of blogs about places that I have been in the last month since I have been in China.

Due to some centrally sensitive reason, the internet has been blocked in China; since the riots...

There are many missing visitations since the last post here, they may be elaborated on. They may not.

I am currently in HongKong staying at Sze Ki's House, more in a later post no doubt.

Enjoy:
(We have just left Korea at this point)

09.06.23 PM – Day 1
After ticketing problems caused by a friend who ordered our tickets (My name was spelt “Herry”), we changed our carrier to Korean Air “A world’s best airline”, scheduled to be arriving in Shanghai around 20:00, local time – with no intention to visit Shanghai.

We caught our flight no problem. A comfortable flight over JeJuDo (We said ‘Hi’ to Joni & Tsui-Fan in the air) took us parallel to the sunset along the coast of China
Current security in a paranoid China is to bring a H1N1 Inspection Crew onto the plane after landing – Naturally mainly inspecting foreigners for the virus that reminds them of SARS. Of course I was one of the nervous Whities that they probed, pointing lasers at my forehead and taking my oral temperature which was surely rising under the pressure.

I was clean.

We disembarked and rushed through customs, besides the usual hilarity with my passport photo, in order to see what last minute flights we could get to JiangJiaJie OR our alternative YiChang.
After circling between the two terminals of Shanghai PuDong Airport a number of times, being followed by hawkers most of the time, we agreed on a flight, the next afternoon to YiChang for a very reasonable pric3e. The hawkers’ offers for a bed nearby were conversely, not reasonable, costing nearly as much as the flight – so we slept in the airport.


09.06.24 AM – Day 2

The first thing I heard this morning was a sickeningly smooth Alto-Sax Solo version of Autumn Leaves.
After filling a juice bottle with instant coffee after 7 hours sleep in an airport, I was ready for noodles and the confrontation of the first ironic news of the journey – in line with the trouble causing us to sleep in an airport, the ticketing agency we just bought our tickets misspelt my name… ‘Happy’.
After being assured that this was no problem and it could be changed as we board the plane, we started work on realigning our planned route to our new destination, not having anticipated needing a place to stay in YiChang, due to the fact we had no idea we were going there until last night we frantically rang around a few hotels (there are no Hostels in small towns in China) and tried to assemble a new itinerary. Wrapped into one, we found a very good Travel Agency in YiChang that managed to find us a very good price on a cruise from YiChang to ChongQing, our next destination, up the Yangtze River with sight-seeing and tourism as a definite. A little reluctant (that’s really not my style) we booked it and found a hotel and waited for the flight in the evening.


09.06.25 – Day 3

Relaxed and reasonably rested after a sleep in a real bed, we set about exploring the town a little. We had a local speciality caught from the Yangtze River with rice and bugs – the bugs weren’t anticipated. I managed to get some Boba Tea which I had missed sorely since my last visit to China and drank that down with childish glee. We stocked up on supplies and pushed through the heat to the travel agents who were keen and ready to go. Between leaving the offices and hailing a taxi I was approached by a rather well meaning but sadly better avoided Chinaman who wanted to practice his English and welcome me to his country.

We took a bus to the port which gave us a taste of the unmistakable Southern countryside, with bridges over the Yangtze and Tunnels under TeraTons of green-shrouded dirt and after 1.5 hours arrived at our departure point near the XianXia Dam – ‘The largest in the world’ [verification needed].
Boarding the boat, it felt empty and we felt lucky, but within the next few hours the boat filled with Bloody Northerners and our luck and patience wore thin – we escaped to our cabin and swore to ignore.


09.06.26 – Day 4

Rise at 0600, Breakfast (Rice Porridge, steamed bread, peanuts and spicy vegetables) 0630, 0700 off the boat for our first stop. We were visiting one of the 55 minorities in China, the 土家TuJia. We took a smaller boat up one of the feeder streams in 神龙溪 (ShenLongXi) and came to a docking station where there were smaller boats, Chinaman-powered and wooden we were rowed upstream with a school of other tourist-laden boats. A crew of 6 towed 2.5 tons of tourist and each man gets paid 30CNY (£3) per three days. The part that they are most famous for is when we get into the shallower, stone-bottomed fast-flowing water, they all jump out and in the straw sandals that their wives make for them they heave us against the flow – the sandals only last 2 weeks.

On the downstream part of the circuit, our wonderful 土家女人 (female) guide sang to us and engaged some of the male crewmembers in a call and answer song.
After seeing a culture performance from some locals and buying some food, we made our way back onto the main ferry and were heading up the main tract of the river.
Later that afternoon we came to 白帝城 (White Emperors City) which is a very famous landmark from the 三国 (Three Kingdoms) era in China. Where one of the Kingdoms (蜀)made its last retreat to . If anyone hasn’t seen the recent Chinese epic ‘Red Cliff’ (赤壁) directed by John Woo (吴宇森), torrent it and you’ll have a better idea of what I’m seeing.
This is a beautiful place.

The effect of the Centrally-administered dam is that the water-level, chosen by the intellectual descendents of Mao fluctuates upon their whim and is currently 10m below its winter high-point so 白帝城 becomes an island in the summer. 诸葛亮孔明 (Kong Ming) would say that the FengShui is excellent!

From the top of the island, and also we passed it on our ferry, the 蛤蟆问天 (Frog Asking Heaven) mountain is perfectly visible – exactly as painted on the reverse of the 10 Yuan Note.

Returning to the ferry we picked up some more cheap, local and delicious foods and enjoyed an evening of beautiful views, Chinese Chess and Cards.


09.06.27 – Day 5

Tired and retired from a full day in the heat yesterday we could wake at 0900 and have the morning to ourselves. However, before long we were stopped and moored in Hell.

This is a rather strange relic of the recent past, a little dilapidated with strange impressions of Chinese Society. Encapsulating the general perception of Hell in China, it’s a monument to a Chinese version of Dante’s Inferno, but stranger. Explanation can only be justly achieved through photos.

We nearly missed the boat for wallowing in awe at the grotesqueries and buying food on shore -

After being digested and squeezed through the bowls we were shat back onto the dirty end of the Yangtze. We were about 12 hours cruise away from ChongQing, notoriously the dirtiest and most industrial city in the dirtiest and most industrial nation of the world, surely twinned with Hull. Boats now were mainly freighters and the freight was mainly coal, coal that would not be gasified and efficiently burnt, but coal that powers dirty 19th Century style power plants and burns in open burners, cookers and boilers in people’s homes, coal that barely improves the quality of life of the majority, coal that kills. And as the night enters the valley of death, drizzle. Not rain or pour, drizzle.


09.06.28 – Day 6

Upstream we moved and by the morning, the far-too-early-morning we were woken up and ejected from our cabin to a pre-breakfast ChongQing. This is an asphyxiating and intense city. The air and the people are close and visibility is somewhat restricted in all dimensions. You could get stranded here and no one would know, not even yourself.

The busses weren’t running, maybe even time had stopped. Silence and smog were our first souvenirs. We took the bus, the bus took us and we were off at the wrong stop before long, nothing that a small march on an empty stomach would soon put right. The locals spoke in a Chinese that Michelle couldn’t even understand so directions were surely well meaning, but ultimately useless. However, wit and observation pulled us into our hostel at about 08:00, before available check-in so we left our bags and headed for a breakfast of comfort – BaoZi and DoNai (Dumplings and Soy-Milk, my favourite). Our room was wonderful and immediately used, abused and appreciated.

The main tourist streets are exactly what they say on the tin. I bought a much coveted Xuin (Ancient Chinese Flute) and then enlisted the help of a small-handed craftsman to create a name stamp for me with my Chinese name. This was finished after a relaxing dinner of characteristically SiChuan food – Spicy everything and a comparably stable bed for dessert and supper.


09.06.29 – Day 7

The morning was mainly ignored for some unproductive personal time and lunchtime was a small but beautiful Buddhist temple, with a commanding view of the river and then after a browse through SiQiKou, a famous and preserved heritage street – and rightly so – we came to a rather strange area… where this kind of thing was not out of place:
Shaking off confusion and finding our way back to recognisable reality we strolled more alleyways laden with calligraphers, painters and . Men that were good with their hands and with tourists money. We found relief with the rain and a novelty Chuckle-Brothers machine with which we toured the riverside and ran down infants and elderly alike.

The bus to the airport and to a world above the fumes came soon enough and soon enough we were in LiJiang, late at night in the north of YunNan, YunNan meaning ‘South of the Clouds’. We collapsed into a beautiful and accommodating Hostel with air so clean as to be nauseating. Sleep was sound and the next sound was…


09.06.30 – Day 8

Dogs were barking. The resident puppies, Big-Black and Small-Black were at our door begging for breakfast. We obliged and went for a stole to indulge in local flavours. Surely over-priced but not entirely unjustified we snacked in anticipation of lunch.
A bus retrieved us from our hostel and drove us over and through the mountains to a beautiful lake nestled and mostly undisturbed in a remote valley. Settled for millennia by the Minority, famous for their equine mountain-trekking. We feasted as only paupers can on wholesome local food, prepared by elderly women before meeting our trekker and our horses. My horse was named ZouLi and our trekker was named Mu – both not Chinese names but local-language names.

We set off, peachy bottomed and white cheeked. We took about 2 hours to scale the mountain which was sodden in a continuous rainfall – it’s the rainy season in YunNan. The breaks in the rain made riding easier for both rider and horse and open stretches were ready invitation for a gallop which both mount and mounted enjoyed greatly. Tough but not rigid, the horses easily ascended and descended the mountain and on the lakeside upon return, we engaged in friendly racing. We dismounted, rosy-cheeked and blue-bottomed.

Then a journey into the lake by boat where we were engaged by a strange fisherman. Huddled under a permanent raincoat with a permanent line into the water, he was selling us fish that he had somehow barbequed on his tiny tender in the middle of the lake. We enjoyed the scenery and on the way back to shore and back to the bus I collected a fallen horseshoe to exchange culture and thanked everyone that made my visit wonderful.

That afternoon, I rested my bottom by walking around the old-town that LiJiang is so famous for. Worthy of its fame we enjoyed an afternoon and early evening immersed in culture and similar tourists. I met a man who boasted he could fashion a wallet for me exactly to my specifications, that is one that can fit my passport in. We took each others offer and I returned to his little shop only an hour later to recover my booty – A wonderfully utilitarian leather wallet and a similarly hand-made leather satchel.

The hours grew larger before they grew smaller and we rested well.

Monday 22 June 2009

In the beginning it was absurd

And the word was:
ASIA



There wasn't a shortage of words, but when you start a dictionary at page 1 - you can't take much more than 50 pages. So here I am. In Korea, facing westward with one motherfucker of a continent between me and the places to which I am most genetically tied. Destination:

A Fine City,
Nelson's County
(Norwich, Norfolk)


"Why not just take a plane?" I hear you cry rhetorically. Well of course that wouldn't be any fun would it now! So I'll be taking a multitude of modus vectura from Korea to a number of countries, mainly in Asia.

We leave tomorrow evening, and with any luck we'll be catching a Flight to Shanghai.
- Here I would like to introduce the Chinese half of the royal 'we' - I'll be travelling with my girlfriend of 10 months and most of my stay in Korea, LuLu. Some people might know her as Michelle or 鹿鹿 but to me, 他是我的宝贝.

We are trying to get to JiangJiaJie (蒋家介, Hunan Province) but there is currently some trouble with out flights - so we don't know where we are staying tomorrow night...

GoogleMaps


A great path lay behind us in Korea... Ten of the best months of my life and the best friends that made it so. But a great path lay ahead of us...

Lulu and me will be almost indefinitely parting ways as she goes to Beijing and continue in South-Western China and then to Vietnam where
I meet 'Mon Pote', Hugo, we travel from Vietnam through Cambodia to Thailand and then Southwards still to Malaysia where we part ways and I fly to Japan where
I meet Thomas David Crosby Esq. We will be travelling in Japan then taking the Trans-Siberian Railway from Beijing to Helsinki, transiting Mongolia and Russia.
Then we take the most direct, skyward path back to the UK.